September 3, 2018 at the Jewel Café in Edmonton
John had been speaking with another about the communication between innermost and outermost as like the being of foetus and mother in concert in one body. A later café conversation touches the same theme, excerpted below:
Q: Did you mean by “in conversation” what you come from and the development of your awareness answered?
John: The two are in concert and they become one.
Q: Your development and what you come from become one? And that changes both? In what way?
John: It creates something of a third or a different one. The one is more than the two. The two become one that is different from each of them.
Q: The qualities of this new one are somehow greater than the qualities of either two? What are those qualities of this new one?
John: Everything of each, and also a new that’s there because of the two becoming one. Everything of the each and a new chemistry.
Q: Would that new chemistry be identifiable to us?
John: You would relate to it in what you already have, but that’s not really relating. You can’t really relate unless you’re the same. The same relates.
Q: Is that new one ground a womb for this new species of spirit?
John: Sort of.
Q: You mean in some ways yes and in some ways no – or almost?
John: Quite a bit.
Q: Are we doing this, or is this being done because of you?
Q: Is it what you’re here for?
John: Yes. It’s also more than what I’m here for. There’s more encapsulated in it than what I’m here for.
Q: It makes me feel a little bit crazy. I don’t know what to do with that!
John: It takes you in.
Q: And where’s softness in that?
John: As it all lands in your humanness then there’s a depth of softness that matches the edge that you’re in.
Q: Is the conversation between innermost and outermost a language of sexuality?
John: Yes. It’s a sexuality, but if you could see it, just like The Black Stallion movie, you would not call it sexual. To me it is, but I also said that that movie is the most sexual movie I’ve ever seen. You can’t find anything sexual in it; it redefines sexuality.
Q: So how does your new definition of sexuality relate to the sexual organs?
John: The magicalness of it, so if you’re not in the magicalness of it, what that practically means is that you’ve lost your real mind. That doesn’t mean that you can’t think coherently in your self and in this world, but most people have lost their mind. The real mind is not the thinking psyche. That’s more like a rogue mind, coherent in itself but incoherent in view of the being, anything deeper than the self.
The magicalness of it is a physical manifestation of what sexuality is – really is.
Q: You mean the sexual organs are the fruit or the root of magicalness?
John: The root is in it. It’s also the root awakened.
Q: And sexuality as the intimate conversation between the innermost and outermost, what we come from and our development … different levels of this conversation?
John: In the conversation there are two: the realized innermost and the realized outermost.
Q: And they become one?
John: They become one through conversation, so it’s a functional oneness.
Q: Is that why you are the whole span: a span of what you come from, a span of who you are, all right here from there?
John: As they are realized there are two different “who’s”. The innermost realizes the “who”, it’s not just a “what.”
Q: You’ve said several times that you’re doing this, you’ve got this. What are we in this? Available space?
John: Encapsulated potential, realizing.
Q: What difference does it make if we realize that or not?
John: In design it’s to be realized.
Q: You’ve spoken in the past of us as a body of being, about tipping the balance in the unseen. Is there a relation between those?
John: Yes. The balance being tipped and anyone in response is included in that. That means that you’re carried in it and you’re also carrying something in it. As soon as you’re included in it, as soon as you’re in it, instantly it’s like “do this, do something with this”, and you’re busy. As soon as you’re included you’re not going to be a watcher. You’re being in it and you’ll be doing in it.
Q: You just do it because you know to do it?
John: It’s more than you just know to do it – it is that – but doing in it is intrinsic to the nature of the whole space, the whole thing. As soon as you land in it, as soon as there’s movement, you’re given something to do. You won’t be doing what you do here; you’ll be doing something very different from here.
Q: Like a role?
John: Not necessarily a role. A role can develop out of it but it is a doing: being, doing, carrying, forming.
Q: What do we do to support that?
John: Fire up.
Q: Are you going to be more and more farther away from us as you keep developing?
John: Yes, but also increasingly really here – the kind of ‘here’ that humans can’t do, can’t be.
Q: Like omnipresent? You’ve used that word with regard to beingness.
John: That’s part of it. It’s so many more levels and realms and dimensions of being here. So that’s way more here than what any human not in all of this can be.
Q: Do you mean you’re bringing all those realms and dimensions here?
John: It also requires being that much here. You can’t bring something here without being here, so the more you bring here the more you really are here. It’s an unusual, most unusual level of being grounded here. What is grounded here doesn’t come from here.
Q: Your embodiment already activates us so much, just being in proximity to you. So what is it that’s not as much here? Because your embodiment is bringing everything here.
John: More of there is less here until more of there is landed here. I’m going from being a little more there than here, which is a lot for everyone here. Going from a little bit more there than here to a little bit more here than there, and it’s like the tide coming and going. As the tide goes that brings an increase there; as the tide come in that brings an increase here. It doesn’t stop. I’m more here than before but I’m also bringing more here than before.
Q : Spreading, infilling any tiny opening with there?
John: In us.
Q: Happening because of what you have become?
John: It’s because I’m here and you’re here. So as you’re here you’re being infiltrated by what I come from. In the same way that water infiltrates the ground, when the water goes into the ground it gets into everything.
Q: To enter more of what you’re opening in meetings and being set on fire, the firing up is very different from dropping. That’s for beginners?
John: As you turn into an inferno, that also turns you into a cauldron – a melting pot. Everything melts down into it and that’s able to be formed into something really different.
Q: So in the meetings you’re melting us down?
John: I’m not melting you down; I’m firing you up. You turn into an inferno and that has you being aware of what it is that you’re bringing in, and all of this is contributing. It’s all being melted down in the heat of what you’re embodying and that’s all going to turn into something different.
Q: Is it possible that what’s happening in meetings is already part of this third thing that’s happened to you?
John: It is.
Q: Every cell inside and out is going through transition.
John: It’s all bigger than big. It’s bigger than the big picture; it’s an emerging bigger picture here. It doesn’t just change the bigger picture and it doesn’t just bring it here. It’s then bigger here than it was there.
Q: Does it make a new bigger picture there?
Q: So maybe that’s what you doing with us, making us into spirit beings?
John: A further form of that is spirit selves, and ultimately spirit persons.
Q: You’ve said you’re not here to teach but to bring it, and for us to support that we have to be different with you in the chair, different in the meetings, different in all ways. Are you going to help us learn that?
John: Learning it comes from you being it in your self, in your person, so in that way I won’t be teaching it.
Q: It’s so new and somehow hidden, I hardly know what to think of any of it.
John: That’s why I always spoke of it as like signing a contract. You know to, but you can’t see any of the fine print. Even if you could, you don’t have the language and the wherewithal to be able to read it. All you know is everything on this is true and it’s for you. So then you sign and you’ll find out later what that all means.